Down the Rabbit Hole With SickBoi Ren

Sick Boi With A Riveting Story -Taking Over The World!

SummerRaine June 1, 2023

17 minutes read

Down the Rabbit Hole With SickBoi Ren

Who is this guy?

Just follow Ren’s instagram and you will quickly realise how most of the world are rather late to the party! Jaws dropped in awe with the discovery of this rare and idiosyncratic talent.

I’m not going to lie, it was the same for me when I accidently stumbled upon Ren’s music video for ‘Hi Ren‘ a few months ago. Initially, I experienced a kind of wtf moment, like what did I just see! And then I replayed it, again, and again. I found myself SOLD – positively Ren-merized!

Once you start searching YouTube you will be in awe as to just how much Ren tracks are out there. I’ve probably doubled my playlist in the space of three days!

Unapologetically Ren, relatable and raw, this young man is fearless! Brutally honest, and about to be the biggest name on the music scene worldwide. The very next prodigy of ART marrying music, and THE most gorgeous face for mental health awareness!

I’m hoping I have Ren’s timeline more correct than not, but if a few things are slightly off course, do forgive me.

Ren was born 29 March1990 in Bangor, Gwynedd Wales and raised in Dwyran, on the island of Anglese. now 33 years old, Ren Erin Gill began his music career as a young teen. He taught himself how to play guitar and sold his home made beats on CD’s. Eventually moving to Bath to study music performance and created an indie hip-hop band. The band were Trick The Fox, consisting of Ren, and friend Charlie Fowler and a bit later on, Tom Frampton

Sick Boi Ren and Shattered Dreams

In 2009 Ren got a lucky break by being discovered whilst busking by Eric Appapoulay. (Mauritian born British singer, songwriter, composer, arranger, programmer, multi-instrumentalist and guitarist). This led to him being offered a recording contract with Sony Records.

Ren left for London and began work on his debut album with band mate, Charlie at Sanctuary studio in South London. The lads got to work writing tracks, touring, and eventually, recording. They also welcomed Tom Frampton to join Trick The Fox at this time.

Struggling with enervating bouts of illness since 2009, Ren spent years trying to find answers to what was ailing him. To no avail. He eventually became too sick to complete recording the album. Sony sadly dropped the contract. He moved back home, most likely to be with family through the most trying time of his life.

All would have gone well for the young bloods of Trick The Fox, had it not been for Ren’s debilitating illness. He released a heart warming letter to his followers on Twitter’s “Twit Long” explaining his deterioration and exit from the scene.

The illness and it’s Mystery

Ren’s illness would leave him mostly bed ridden and trapped in four walls. Watching life evade him, only able to briefly leave his bed an hour a day at times. This continued throughout his growing years.

After being diagnosed with M.E. (Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome) and mis-diagnosed with a string of other illness’s, Dr after Dr, he was eventually diagnosed with Lyme disease by a specialist in Brussels.

He continued to write music and record from his sick bed. Ren went on to releasing his sixteen track debut solo album ‘Freckled Angels‘ in 2016. The album is dedicated to his best friend, Joe Hughes. Joe passed away in 2010 by suicide. The death hit Ren really hard. He had tried to get to Joe before he took his own life, and was but a few minutes too late.

The Comeback

In 2017 Ren was back at it, and even featured in a movie called ‘Unrest‘. A documentary on chronic fatigue syndrome by a fellow disease sufferer – journalist and academic, Jennifer Brea.

She was mysteriously struck down by a fever that left her bedridden. Doctors told her that it is all in her head. She decided to start recording herself in search for answers and seeking a cure. Ren was suffering the same struggles. His song ‘Patience‘ was included in her movie soundtrack.

Whilst working on a solo career, Ren could be found busking once again with his fab and charismatic indie rock & roll band, The Big Push.

The four piece rockers consisted of Ren, Romain Axisa, Gorran Kendall, (who alternated doing vocals) and drummer, Glenn Chambers. Gaining recognition on Ship street and New road, Brighton, The Big Push began uploading their pavement performances to YouTube.

They became extremely popular, not only on the streets. The band accumulated a massive following on YouTube as well. Their videos took off worldwide, quickly getting them added to line-ups for legit gigs. Starting with a sold out show in 2019 at Chalk, Brighton.

See Ren and fellow Busker Liv Sangster living their best life jamming on Brighton Beach

Come 2020, The Big Push performed to a full-house at 02 Academy, Islington. A live music venue inside a shopping center, hosting rock and pop acts and weekly club nights.The following year, on 30 June 2021, the band released their debut EP titled ‘Can Do Will Do‘. It was recorded at Seaside studios (Brighton) which was released via XVII Music Group.

The EP consisted of six tracks, namely: ‘Watch Out‘, ‘Xbox Marijuana‘, ‘Mannequin‘, ‘When She Goes‘, ‘All My Heroes‘ & ‘Precious‘.

Their lead track off the EP titled ‘Watch out‘ garnered 1 million streams by that October! That same year, the band set out on a sold out Tour. But sadly, cut short due to band members testing positive for covid.

Ren’s April 2020 release of Money Game also created traction, gaining major popularity via a “Luigi clone“. This was based on the ‘Sea Shells’ reference which eventually became a meme in March 2021.

Ren Gill — Ren on the streets of Brighton (Image : The Big Push facebook)

Down the Rabbit Hole With Ren — Image: The Big Push (Facebook)

Throughout 2022 The Big Push were back at ’em! Making music and illuminating the streets of Brighton! They were also set to perform their largest stage show ever. This was to be held at The Brighton Dome on 9th September.

But then the announcement. On the 31st August, they publicly informed their fans that The Big Push would be no more.

The band had run it’s course! With difficulties arising due to Ren’s Lyme disease, distance, and other personal issues. They officially disbanded that September. It is said that Brighton saw them together one more time on the 14th December 2022.

Image credit: Luke Flegg (Mercury Press)

Will the Real Ren Gill Please Stand up!

I’m not going to get into all the phenomenal music releases from Ren over the period of last year or earlier this year. (ok, maybe a few still coming coz I just keep being blown away) My main focus has been to get down to business on the song that has me positively ren-merized.

On the 15th of December 2022 Ren unleashed an unadulterated masterpiece titled ‘Hi Ren‘. The official music video was created by mastermind Cinematographer – Samuel Perry-Falvey. Samuel is a freelance Director of Photography based in the UK. He works internationally on Narrative and Commercial Videos. You can contact him HERE. He travels!

The video : ‘Hi Ren‘ is nothing short of utterly mind blowing . Hitting hard, and shaking up viewers all over the world, to the point of tears mostly. Yes indeed, I’ve heard of grown men crying on reaction videos!

A deep and poetical theatre – meets – cinema performance! Whereby, the internal dialogue between Ren and his inner demons unfold. These demons, adopted via years of struggle, both physically and mentally. Voices most of us can relate to, or may have experienced at one time or another. Words of self-doubt, self loathing and outright hopelessness.

Give this intensely emotive video a look see! Take your front row seat. Ren’s beautiful mind vs. his dark and nihilistic alter-ego!

‘Hi Ren’ Lyrics HERE

” When I was 17 years old I shouted out into an empty room,
into a blank canvas, that I would defeat the forces of evil.
And for the next 10 years of my life I suffered the consequences.

With autoimmunity, Illness, and psychosis. As I got older I realized that there were no real winners and there were no real losers in physiological warfare.

But there were victims, and there were students. It wasn’t David verses Goliath, it’s was a pendulum, eternally Swaying from the dark to the light. And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast.

And there you have it!

I would love to climb into your mind right now to see your thoughts and realize your emotions. Knowing they are there, furiously processing. It is incredible watching all the reaction videos on all the different platforms. Everyone tends to be effected in a similar way. You will probably want to go and hit replay about now, feel free, we all did it, we understand!

On another note, regarding ‘Hi Ren‘, the song received some heat with CNN’s public deception. They had the audacity to unfairly misconstrue his message. CNN used a few seconds of Ren’s video in an educational newsflash for parents, regarding dangers of tiktok content and it’s influence! This, without even playing the entire song, just sneakily taking a few seconds of it to imply it “promotes suicide”! No fair CNN!

Funny enough, even with CNN smearing their dirty paws on the song, it continues to go viral. Positively viral! Reaching 6.8 million views in two months of release. At my time of writing, ‘Hi Ren’ stands at 14 million views after 5 months! All of this without a label or top notch PR. Just Ren’s phenomenal work, speaking for itself. Actually, let me reword that….it’s Screaming!

The song was written, performed and directed by Ren. It is most likely the life changing breakthrough he was waiting for his entire life. Nothing can stop his irrefutable success unfolding across the globe as I unpack his story.

As the old adage goes, “even bad press is good press”! Judging from his fans responses and vocal retaliation against the CNN/TikTok saga, they certainly relate to and grasp Ren’s intended message. Expressing their abhorrence across social media regarding the use of the song in a derogatory light.

As someone who hears hundreds of songs a month, I perceived the track as nothing short of the bravest declaration of Hope! For himself, and for others worldwide.

A heart wrenching tale of a young mans struggle with his illness. Despising his unwilling body that continues to cheat him out of a full and healthy life. Robbing him daily of his dreams and ambitions. An exhausted soul, with a war ravaging his beautiful mind with continuous assault and defeatism.

But then, revealing his depth as a human being. His outright acceptance. The Quiet! It’s beautiful. How he reaches a plateau. Clawing his way out of the fiery pits of hell! This guy is a freaking hero.

Ren patently conveys the message that life and it’s struggles are not a win or lose situation, but an eternal dance that one learns the steps to! Stumbling at first with clumsy feet, then slowly but surely relaxing.

It’s like falling into quicksand if you will. The struggling causes one to sink faster and deeper. But being still, it slows the sinking. Specifically in his case, it has allowed for the softening of the human psyche. The discovery of his own humanity! Finding inner peace through learning the dance, even it’s intricate and sometimes arduous steps. One becomes a better human through all of it!

I remain eternally grateful for the song appearing out of nowhere on my YouTube channel. Nearly 20 years his senior, I take away a gift. A profound message bestowing renewed inner strength through Ren’s story. So thank you Ren. Thank you!

It was never a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance. And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got.The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more I suffered.

So I got older and I learned to relax,And I learned to soften, and that dance got easier.

It is this eternal waltz that separates human beings.From angels, from demons, from Gods.

And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.

During the years trapped inside with chronic health problems the main thing that kept me going was a belief that one day I would come out the other side, and be able to achieve success through music.

I don’t have a label, and sometimes pushing these things as hard as I want becomes a massive challenge. Finding myself frustrated that there aren’t enough hours in the day to push it as far as I want to.

I would love to ask a favor to anyone who has ever enjoyed my music over the years, and it will only take a few minutes of your day.

It would mean the world to me if you shared ‘Hi Ren’ as much as you can, over social media platforms, with friends, over email.

Together, and with your help I can hopefully reach people all over the world, and get one step closer to the dream I always had! ~ Ren

What The World is saying

Watch an American film makers review on Samuel Perry-Falvey’s superb cinematic creation of ‘Hi Ren’ HERE

Enjoy a therapist reacting and unpacking ‘Hi Ren‘ HERE

See a professional opera singer Elizabeth Zharoff’s reaction to ‘Hi Ren‘ HERE

Revel in Rapper Knox Hill’s Reaction to ‘Hi Ren‘ (Full Analysis) HERE

Video and online comments

“Ren, as a physician I would like to thank you for this monumental exploration of the human condition. This is exactly what those of us that have suffered with psychic distress needed. Shame on CNN and their editorial and journalistic malpractice in creating the impression that your music is somehow dangerous to those having suicidal ideation.

Of course, anything and anyone can be blamed for romanticizing self-harm. But, in my professional opinion, there is a greater therapeutic healing associated with an honest approach to this subject. CNN should be ashamed of themselves.” ~ Rafael Garcia MD

“I’ve seen this one random night before going home from work 5 months ago. The thing that happened next was nothing I have ever experienced in my life. Your music has wrapped itself around the carcass of a person that was left of me. It is still singing, creating the wind that keeps me up, lifted above the abyss. I didn’t need therapy, I didn’t” ~ Mysterious Figure

“This masterpiece affects me on a deep psychological level. I know I’m not just listening to music. This is humility, this is humanity. Look, I don’t even have the words. This is holistic. I can’t even find the words to express how impactful this is to me. I am blown TF away.” ~ Italjute

The Goosebump Duet of 2021

Chalk Outline by Ren featuring Chinchilla

Chichilla is a phenomenal London-based urban pop artist with a vocal range second to none! What a marriage of perfection when she comes together with Ren. This is not their first song together, just my favourite!

The song speaks of true life experiences from Ren’s continuous hell, and the abuse of prescription drugs. No thanks to the cycle of Doctor’s misdiagnosing and medicating him over and over again. Left numb and sedated, the chalk outline represents him feeling dead, even though he is alive. It also speaks of the hopeless addiction of these medications, anxiety and the fear of living without them. It’s deep. It’s real.

Ren On The Rise in 2023

In February this year, amongst other phenomenal releases such as ‘Illest of our time‘ and Sickboi, Ren premiered his own retake of The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony which was Filmed by Luke Flegg.

The track was made just for the fun of it, and the love he has for the original version. Just another side to the multi-faceted gem that Ren is.

On 4th May, Ren released his latest single titled ‘Animal Flow‘. The official music video reached 4 Million audio streams and a whopping 10 Million YouTube views in less than 5 months.

I think it’s safe to say the he has secured a stable and ever growing following, and so he should! Even though his health struggles may continue to plague him, his dream is being realized as we continue to share his story and the fabulousness that is Ren Gill. I truly hope this brings him some comfort as he currently undergoes specialized treatment in Canada.

Personally, I have decided to commit myself to Ren’s plight. To play a part in making this rare walking, talking work of art be known to as many people I can reach. By bringing his story to others, I know it is literally changing people’s perspective of their own suffering. We need more of that.

Ren’s path has been a rose garden, where thorns prick like the needles in his flesh, and he bleeds. But, the beautiful scent and sight of the roses, his victories, they make it worth the while. His is a journey of hope that will in some way help someone else hang on for another tomorrow. We need you Ren.

A Letter from Ren To His Fans (For Joe) – 01/06/2023

“Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.

Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old. My friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to him. It took about 10 minutes from my house.

I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles. He grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” Joe then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor.

He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. From that moment, he ended up becoming one of my best friends.

Joe was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. Again, he was present when I first got so drunk. I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could.

I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave. That moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt.

No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.

Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs I’d write. We’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups.

Joe tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier. They turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. Once, he turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking, throw away comment type of way. Continuing to sip his drink He just walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on.

If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe I’d have hugged him. Told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him. I wouldn’t have left that pub. Obviously, I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am. It was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge. A large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived.

He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. Joe told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. Living about a ten minute walk away, I knew I could run it in five.

As I ran, I started dialing, then redialing his number. The line was busy, still, a good sign. It meant he was on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. Arriving to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet.

I was the first person to arrive. Getting there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially, we refused to believe he was gone.

The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could. Walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night.

When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels. A song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family.

A charity football match was put on for him. Raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle. I drank them both as quickly as I could. At some point, I turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink”. That was 12 years ago. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. At the outset, it was going to be my next release. I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion.

At the very last minute, I decided to do something about it. As I sat by my piano, the rest of the song fell out of me. In truth, I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while. Afterall, the song wasn’t going to be about him, even so, the words all fell out of me.

I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra. Recording each part as I wrote it. The tears spewing out my eyes the whole time. Deciding not to do my thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.

This will be my next release. Regarding this, please turn on notifications by following the link in comments. It is important to realize that during this campaign, I will be raising money for the RNLI. To sum it up, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing.

Another key point is that I’ll be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the ‘Freckled Angels’ album. It will go directly to Joes’ family as a nice surprise gift. Below, I will include links to the RNLI donation page where 100% of the money goes to them.

Also, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video. I have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of the money raised.” ~ Ren (YouTube)